Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
