i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
