I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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