reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize