isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
