She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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