i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
