Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
