i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
