I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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