Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
