Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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