sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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