they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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