I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
