Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
