toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
