Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
