Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
