I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
