I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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