at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
