He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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