She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Success! We fucked roommates!
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