I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
