To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
