Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
