So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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