bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
