there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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