Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize