All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
