what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
