i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
