who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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