It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
