Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize