they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
