Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
