Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You've changed since you got that strap on
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
