Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
