He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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