you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think I died a long time ago.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
