I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
where are you?
Hypothermia
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
