I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
