we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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