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i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
only if we run a train.
done.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
