Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
