I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
