She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He shit in the fireplace
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
