...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
