whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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