He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
