Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
