No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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