Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
