can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
