So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
