it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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