Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
