Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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