literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
