My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
