My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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