I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
