i think i have herpe
just one?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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