you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
