I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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