Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
