I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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