I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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