Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
