Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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