dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize