She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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