"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
