Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
