Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just gargled with NyQuil
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
