I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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