i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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