my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
