we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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